Baby Love

Overdue doesn't even begin to describe it. It's been almost a year and I never even wrote about our newest addition!!! Leo = Joy and I will post all about him and his perfect fit into our family. I'd like to say soon, but life is so busy I make no more promises.

What I want to talk about right now are my feelings about being a mother. Not the day to day stuff, but the emotional and physical connection I have with my babies. I was rocking Leo to sleep in his room and I have this reocurring thought that I wish I could bottle the feeling I have when I am there.

Rocking your baby to sleep is one of the most magical experiences one could have in my opinion. It makes me stop for a few moments and love on this tiny being that is 100% dependent on me and the snuggles and care I give him. Maybe I notice it more now, since having 2 older kids, I hardly have a minute otherwise to be in the moment. I look forward to Leo's nap time, not to have a break, but to snuggle him for a few minutes before he drifts off. It seems that no matter what size he is, whether a newborn or a thriving 11 month old, he seems to fit perfectly in my "nooks." And when he finds his "spot," I love hearing his little sigh of comfort and peace.

Leo loves to bury his head in my chest and arms. I get to feel his tiny tummy moving up and down ever so gently as he's taking his little baby breaths. And since his head is usually buried in my chest, I can give him all the kisses on his head and smell his sweet baby scent, while his soft hair usually tickles my nose. I give him a gentle squeeze and he sinks further into my snuggle. Sometimes, I really need to convince myself that I should get up and let him rest in his bed. And sometimes, if the boys are at school, I just sit there with him for as long as I can. Maybe I'm so sentimental this time because there's a really good chance Leo makes our family complete. Or maybe it is just that I don't get as much cuddle time as I did with his big brothers. Who knows? I'm just glad I can write about it and hopefully one day reading this can bring me back to the magical time when they were my babies. This little "ache" I feel in my arms when I think about holding him will likely fade as he grows older and more independent. But I will always remember how "full" it makes me feel. I cannot bottle this feeling, but I can come back to this post and remember how amazing (and even though I tried) truly indescribable it really is.

Being a mother has more challenges than I ever could have dreamed of. Something you can't understand until you have your own children. But, having that baby in your arms, resting, and feeling so safe and snuggling makes all the crazy, hectic, and stressful moments seem so insignificant.


And while I write this, Caleb is snuggled up with William in his bed tonight. I love that no matter what fighting or drama ensues throughout the day, these 2 brothers forget all of that. And at the end of the day they just love each other. How blessed am I?????? <3